Doubts
by Hope Whitley
Summary: PJ is having a hard time after graduated from Uni...
1. Chapter 1

A brand new fanfic with some Kickthestickz in it but later !

What do I do now ? I have gradued from Uni, Youtube is my job... I guess the next step after finding a job is finding a girlfriend, right ?

PJ, although he always seemed confident, wasn't sure what to do anymore. He decided to take advice from one of his best friends, Phil. They knew each other for a very long time now, and Phil being 3 years older, he might know what PJ could do know.

The bell rang and Dan got up the sofa to open while throwing a "You lazy-ass..." at Phil, who didn't replied. PJ's voice was heard in the hallway, Dan's too.

"Hey man, come in.

-Hey, how are you ?

-Fine, you ?

-I'm good. Erm, is Phil here ?

-Sure. ... Phil, come here please !"

Dan shouted, but when he turned, Phil was right behind him, with this no-need-to-shout expression on his face. Dan rolled his eyes and smiled. The three men entered the living room. The youngest guy and his home mate sat on the sofa, and PJ sat on a bar chair. After a short silence, Phil opened his mouth.

"What is that?"

PJ looked at Phil, then at Dan, hesitating. He started expressing his feelings, how his confidence was slowly falling appart, concluding that he was having an existential crisis. Dan stood, saying he didn't think being able to help his friend, and walked away. PJ focused on Phil, who seemed a bit awkward.

"Let's see... First, I think you should really try to boost your Youtube channel as you have all the time you want for it now.

-Yes, but I want to find a job just in case...

-Don't worry about it too much. You are a really good film maker, and you already won a price for one of you work, I think people will ask you to work with them sooner or later.

-Also..."

PJ stopped in the middle if a sentence. Phil adjusted his hair, his eyebrows twitching. The curly-haired boy mumbled something. He was thinking about how to formulate what he was feeling at the moment. How could he say that without freaking his hosts ? Dan was in his room, making it harder to tell as the brown-eyed could hear it. Phil waited quietly.

"I think I might love someone."


	2. Chapter 2

Chap 2 already ! Wow ! PJ motivated me to write... about him ! Enjoy !

"I think I might love someone."

He closed his mouth as he opened his heart. Phil smiled.

"Who is she ?"

PJ looked up at his friend and realised how unexpected his love was. As long as the blue eyes would keep starring at him, he would feel less and less comfortable. He quickly excused himself and stood. Phil grabbed his wrist before he could go. He could feel the pulses of PJ's racing heart. Trying to not be loud so Dan won't hear him, he pulled PJ closer :

" Tell me what is going on. "

Even though he had always concidered Phil like a big brother, he wasn't ready to say it like this. He had to talk to his loved one first.

He hurried back home, turned his computer on, only to log on Skype. He smiled has he saw Chris' , his five-years older best friend, pseudo popping on the bottom right corner of the screen. He tipped with confidence.

"Hey."

He send the message and jumped at the sound of his phone ringing behind him. It was Phil. He didn't answered, but muttered to himself that he didn't wanted Phil to feel awkward.

"Hey me ol' cock."

Oh Chris. What a jerk. The green eyed man was responding to his friend when his phone rang again.

"Sorry Phil, but if you insist I'll have to lie."

He picked up this time. He just said he was fine but Phil was still worrying. PJ tricked his friend saying his love interest was a bit different, which was what it was but he knew that his ebene haired friend would think of something else. He sighed. Now what was he suposed to do. The young man looked at his computer and saw another message from Chris, asking how he was. Then another showed, asking him if he wanted to come over during the weekend.

"Yeah, sure. Should I bring anything ?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Just bring your pretty face."

PJ smiled. Again. He felt a warming in his heart and a rant of joy. He took his ukulele and started playing a happy song about an exotic island. The rest of the week was spent fast, and finally, It was Friday, but he wasn't doing anything tonight.

"Actually, do you mind if we met in a bar or something tonight ?

-Why not."

He took the train to London, he didn't bring a lot of things, just enough so it could fit in his backpack. He arrived at the pub they usually went to with Chris. Even though they didn't say where they should met, he came there. At the end of the road he saw Phil and Alex chatting, he waved. They came closer and started talking when Chris practically jumped on PJ. He was alone, they entered the bar and ordered drinks. Alex left without drinking anything. Chris was left with Phil and PJ. He tried to make Phil go by saying Dan was probably home alone and lonely, but the black haired man didn't forget about PJ freaking out and leaving the apartment. A awkward silence took place at the friends' table. PJ, staring at Chris, was thinking. Overthinking.

The oldest one tried to fool around, but the three of them seemed to worry. When the waiter served the drinks, they started to drink right away.

Phil was being a cutie, mostly laughing and hiding his face, he was also more perverted than usual. Chris was all silly, and Peej, well, he was really close to his best friend. After an hour, they agreed on going home.

The morning light pierced through Chris' bedroom's curtains. Two green eyes opened in the still dark room. Chris felt a stunning pain in his head and sat in his bed, before noticing he wasn't alone in this bed. He smiled. So, he got lucky yesterday ? Something felt strange though. he got up, he wasn't naked. He turned the light on. He laughed, seeing PJ on the bed. He was still wearing his clothes, still sleeping, just lying on the bed. He groaned.

"Hey PJ. Got lucky last night ?"

Said the older, moking his friend.

"Shuddup, bring me some coffee."


	4. Chapter 4

(And another one ! :3 Hope you like it ! Do I put too much dialogue ?)

Mumbled PJ. Chris made it to the kitchen, a bit tired. A few minutes later, a tall creature appeared behind the owner of the flat.

"Yo, I could make breakfast, if you mind."

Chris responded with a face, they both laughed. As the apartment was filled with the smell of coffee, bacon and eggs, PJ couldn't stop looking at his friend. They ate, they talked.

"I know, right ? They're gonna be so happy together !  
-Ah, "love"…"

The green eyes stared at his friend.

"Speaking of love…  
-You find someone ? Because Phil told me you were acting weird lately."

What ? Phil talked about this with Chris ? But when ? and, more important…

"Oh, really ? What else did he say ?"

Beside the youngster's efforts, his voice was still tinted with angst. Hopefully, Chris didn't seem to notice.

"Just that you were hiding something… Tell me ! Come on."

Pj felt his hand sweating. He stood up, still facing his mate. A shower. That would leave him so more minutes to think about how he should confess. Because at this point, he couldn't go back and said he wasn't in love. He told the other guy that he was going wash himself.  
The water streamed down his body. Strangely, it didn't relax him. The curly-haired boy just wanted the waiting to end. He dried his hair quickly, coming back to Chris, who was waiting to take a shower too. "We could have showered together", PJ caught himself thinking. He wandered around in the apartment. He picked up a book and started reading, but he couldn't really focus.

Chris finally got out, his hair messy and wet. This sight made PJ's heart melt. He approached. He put on hand on his friend's cheek and kissed him.  
Chris was very surprised.

"What the?! What was that for ?"

The younger man whispered an apology and walked back to the bedroom. Both of them were now confused.  
"What the hell, Peej, you should have confessed ! What even was that…" he thought.


End file.
